There's a house that sits back off the road on Laney Way. There's a pond that occupies the distant yard behind it.

Mindless Banter

Yes, I know I've been slacking miserably keeping up with my posts in here, and you would think with Bean now attending daycare two days out of the week, I would have more time to write.  Truth is, I do have more free time but a lot of it has been taken up with other things, mostly my mother. 

I have been writing though. Besides a monthly subscriber base blog e-mail, (although the updated site that shows a new post had been delivered has been neglected) there are also a few closed groups I contribute to on a regular basis. Aside from those, the majority of my writings have been the good old fashion way, with pen and paper. There's nothing quite like the feel of a pen in your hand and it gliding across the crisp paper beneath it.  

And until I can sit down, coffee or wine (depending on time of day) in hand and laptop open in front of me you're stuck reading what I posted today in one of my closed groups. 

Revised for blog:

There is nothing more annoying to me then to open one of my social media sites and be bombarded with posts of  -It's National "whatever" Day.  There is no way of avoiding it. So, I decided to join the craze and share a few I found amusing.

October started out with "Name Your Car Day" which fell on the 2nd day of the month. Without sounding chauvinistic, I think men are the only ones who name their cars.  Although, I have to admit I did give mine a few good off-the-cuff names the other day..."son of a b*tch", "b*st*rd" and "you piece of sh*t".

The 3rd was "Virus Appreciation Day". Really!? I'm somewhat confused about this one. Whether it be the microscopic germ type or techno type. Why would anyone "appreciate" such a day?
I did find a photo from 2013 of  Kenna with her laptop and a whimsical creature attached to it. 

Seems we celebrate "Virus Day" a lot in this household, whether we like it or not and it's usually accompanied with expletives such as...(see October 2, Name Your Car Day).

October 7th was "Pet Obesity Awareness Day" along with "You Matter To Me Day". First of all, if your pets really mattered, they wouldn't be obese. Just saying! And no matter what they say about you, you still matter to me. Unless of course you stab me in the back when I turn around.

Today the 8th is "World Octopus Day". If it was squid day instead, I'd say let's all go out for some calamari.

Tomorrow the 9th oddly enough is "Curious Events Day" which just happens to also be "Moldy Cheese Day". Surprisingly, I just bought moldy cheese and an angel food cake mix last week, which now that I think about it, I find it to be a somewhat curious event.  Strangely though, guess what October 10th is? Yep, "Angel Food Day" along with "Cake Decorating Day". Who knew!!!

The 11th is "It's My Party Day" and "Coming Out Day". Not quite sure if this is the same day only worded differently, the premise seems to be the same. Anyway, the motto for the day will be 'Come out and we'll have a party for you'. Anyone in?

The 12th is International "Moment of Frustration Day". I know a few who celebrate this daily. Just ask my daughter, in regard to her commute that is. She certainly does not need a special day to scream at her fellow driver.

The 13th is "Face Your Fears Day". This one I will, without hesitation, attempt to fulfill. I've been looking over my list of fears trying to decide which one to start with. Number 66 looks attainable.

The 14th - "Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work Day." This one is especially good with its placement, being after "Frustration" and "Fear" day. Someone was definitely thinking when deciding where to place it on the calendar.
And it just so happens to be listed as 66 on my list of  "Face Your Fears".

It is also "Be Bald and Free Day." I could take this in so many different directions, but I won't.
Instead I'll tell you Thursday, October 15th is "Conflict Resolution Day" and at this moment I am fighting not to go back and comment on "Bald and Free" day. Maybe today should be 'stop those sarcastic voices in my head day.'  Oh wait, the month of October just happens to be National Sarcastic Awareness Month.

Moving right along.

The 16th is not only "Bosses Day" but "Ex Day" too. Oh yeah, and "Dictionary Day" as well.
You know what would be really funny? Picture this. Everyone who took their teddy bear to work on the 14th, leave it for their boss in his/her office. I guarantee you'll wish you had a dictionary handy.

October 18th is "World Menopause Day" Does that mean those of us who are experiencing menopause symptoms, and, let me just state for the record, I am not going through it as of yet...Is it getting a little warm in here? Damn, I forgot what I was going to say! Hmm.

Anyway...

The 21st is listed as "Babbling Day." I truly would go bonkers listening to others mindlessly go on and on about nothing of importance. Something like I've been doing here.
So, I'll leave you with the most important one. And the only one that really makes any sense at all.
The 25th of October is officially "Mother-in-Law Day", not to be confused with "Cranky Co-workers Day" on the 27th. Although, if you don't particularly care for your mother-in-law -not naming names here- October's your month to let loose.

Oh, and just because...The 23rd of October is "Mole Day". Just thought some of you would like to know. 

2015

It's been a full, and at times, somewhat hectic year so far.

Hubby and I just spent a wonderful weekend over the border, a surprise getaway I originally wasn't to keen about when told to pack for it without knowing what we were doing or where we were going.

We arrived at our destination, Niagara-on-the-lake, and spent 2 full days enjoying the sights, food, and entertainment. It's been a couple years since I last attended a theatre performance and I wasn't disappointed when we arrived at the Shaw Festival for one of their performances. It wouldn't have been a play I would have picked, but I was happy to be there nonetheless. And while it was nice to get away, just the two of us, it was even better to get home to Kenna and Cruz.

 

Kenna's health issue has subsided somewhat and we are extremely relieved. It's been awhile since her last episode, but, we are very aware it can happen at any time, which made me a little nervous taking off over the border this past weekend. 

Cruz has had a few issues as well, and went in for testing. He had an EKG among other tests. He was such a little champ hooked up to the machines.  

 

 

My daughter has cut my days watching him from 5 to 3 days, he has now graduated to attending daycare 2 days a week, not because I needed the break, but, because he needed the interaction with other children, which I'd have to agree, he really did. He had become very clingy with me and would run to me when he'd become upset or hurt rather than going to his mother or father. I have often thought maybe it bothered my daughter, but she has reassured me, it does not. I actually teared up today saying goodbye to him knowing I won't see him for two weeks. Yes, we are off again. Which reminds me, I have to go pack.

February Trip South

Our yearly trip south is never long enough, at least the part where it's spending time with my son and grandson. This year, with the upcoming arrival of my son's second child, due March 11th, we decided to make the trip down earlier in the year rather than wait until August like we have always done in past years.  I originally was going to go down alone because my son had asked if I could come help him out, taking care of things around the house and with his 3 year old. I dreaded the thought of going down alone but I took his request as a silent cry for relief and to get a break from the nonstop stressors and madness he deals with on a daily basis; I don't know how he does it, working full-time, running a household pretty much alone, furthering his education and taking care of his son with very little help from his girlfriend or her parents and what little help he does get, it's usually his girlfriend's father watching our grandson when my son goes to work or school, but that too has declined drastically due to health issues my son's girlfriend's father is now dealing with.

I have always believed adult children will eventually find mates similar to their parent and this is very true in the case of my daughter. My son-in-law is eerily identical to my husband when it comes to personality, temperament and character, it's like looking at a younger clone version of my husband and I've often thanked God she found him but, my son's girlfriend, there is no way in hell I have ever been as indolent as she is and there is a lot of tension between the two of us because of it.

I suppose her disdain toward me is warranted same as mine is for her, only difference is, our antipathy toward each other is for different reasons and I have always had a very hard time hiding behind a false facade, my feelings are not easily hidden. Once I get to know someone and see their true character, if I don't like it I try to avoid the person because even when I try to fake it, it's distinctly transparent. It's comparable to holding down a job you've become miserable in. You enter into it with high expectations, find little things that annoy you or find intolerable, you try working through the irritations weighing the pros and cons but eventually, if things don't change, you end up not doing your best work or giving it your all, same as in relationships.   

When we left for South Carolina we knew there was a good chance we'd be there for the birth of our (third) grandson. Although her due date wasn't until March she had already started showing signs of early labor.  We arrived at our extended stay hotel too late Saturday the 14th to make the trip over to the house so we waited until Sunday morning to make an appearance.  My son was working Saturday night anyway and his girlfriend, well, this would be the first we'd be seeing her since our clash of personalities that took place last time they all were up north.  But now that she was blessing us with another grandchild, and for my son's sake I needed to shelf my animosity toward her and hope she wouldn't cause further contention within the family as she has so many times before.

After we arrived at the house and shortly after  the boys left to run errands she went into labor, and two hours later we were blessed with our third grandson.  Kingston made his appearance without complication Sunday the 15th of February and he is absolutely beautiful.

Bugsy (as I affectionately call him)  spent the week with us at the hotel and although it's only once a year we get to see him, he was very comfortable staying with us and was a typical 3 year old, spending a great deal of the time jumping on the beds, dancing on the window sill and running around through the rooms.  I laughed pretty much the whole time.  He is getting so big and I often find myself saddened I don't have the same relationship as I do with my daughter's son, Bean (a nickname I dubbed my second grandson).

Whenever we stay at a hotel I write out a backwards message on the bathroom mirror.  Yes, call me juvenile, believe me when I say I've been called worse. One morning after hubby took Bugsy to his therapy class I finished my shower and stepped out to see another message written out below the one I had written. My mischievous side was reciprocated and I am almost certain not by an imprisoned entity behind the mirror. Apparently my impishness has rubbed off on my daughter.

One of our day trips took us to Old Town Bluffton not far from my son's home and actually a short hike on a beautiful day. We opted to drive though because although we left behind mounds of snow up north it was a tad bit chilly in the low-country this trip and we never know how long we'll stroll through town.
We never miss a visit there when we go down although I'm positive my husband wished we would. I never seem to leave without purchasing a few small items or browsing through my favorite quaint little bookstore.  We visited, what will be a new favorite haunt, Lawton Stables located on Hilton Head Island and not far from my son's place of employment.  Bug's enjoyed clucking with the chickens and was in awe with a Clydesdale horse who goes by the name of Harley.  And although we didn't get a chance to get to Savannah, Ga. this trip like I wanted to to stroll the historic district ( Mikenna and I like to admire and take photos of the old architectural buildings) we did go sightseeing on Hilton Head and I've picked out our new vacation home. Now if only we could win big in the lottery.



Our trip back home emerged into a perilous journey to say the least. Our travels through West Virginia alone was a daunting 8 and 1/2  hours which normally takes better than half that time.  Besides the Semi that fishtailed and ended up with its trailer turned completely around (pictured here) there were numerous vehicles in ditches and the majority of them were plows attempting the process of removing snow. Go figure! We even witnessed a salt truck flip over, not entirely due to icy roads but in part to its load shifting as it maneuvered a turn.



The one good thing about making the trip in a car versus flying, which I'd prefer, is looking for the Coffindaffer crosses that adorn the interstate highways. West Virginia has more sets of crosses planted than any other state, their number ranging in the hundreds. Sadly though the weather wouldn't cooperate and made it difficult to spot these magnificent spiritual symbols.  We did although spot a couple enormous single crosses planted in the fields of Pennsylvania.



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~The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naïve forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.  ~Thomas Szasz

You forgive those simple because you still want them in your life, it doesn't mean you forget the hurt.

Originally posted 3/17/15 @ 12:41 am (3)

Altrusic Acts

The social movement "Pay it Forward" has been around a considerable amount of  time.  After doing some research - as little as possible, I may add - I found it may have very well started as far back as 317 BC in ancient Athens when the concept was used in the play Dyskolos written by Menande.  "Make rich as many people as you can by your own efforts. For this act never dies." 

Since then, some of our greats throughout the centuries have used and implemented this philosophy in their own works and daily lives.
Lily Hammond is to believed to have coined the phrase in her 1916 book In the Garden of Delight  with the quote "You don't pay love back; you pay it forward".  I had started reading it online because our libraries in the area don't have it for loan. Ah, what a wonderful thing the internet is.

In todays age of social media the ripple effect of this philosophy could be enormous; it is truly amazing when you think about it.  One person's kind gesture of paying it forward could thus yield a world of difference whether your alms be to a charitable cause, a thoughtful deed or even just a kind word or friendly smile.  A friend on Facebook (John)  posted a pay it forward drive he himself is taking part in, so I decided I would be a part of it too, through him. 

I'm reminded of a vacation day in Delaware this past summer. As Mikenna and I walked around sightseeing in Rehoboth Beach while her father worked she spotted a police officer writing tickets for cars parked in expired parking meter spots.  She asked me for a quarter and I was a little puzzled since we had just come from the boardwalk. I gave her the quarter and she walked towards a car parked at one of those expired meters, its red flag stood erect.  I stood there and watched her drop it in the meter and I smiled. As she walked back to me, I reached into my purse and retrieved what quarters I had and as we walked under the warmth of the day amidst the bustling crowds of beach goers it warmed my heart to see her paying it forward. That small act of hers ended up costing a mere $3.75 giving us not only a cherished memory we shared together, but also a feeling deep down within us, that maybe, in some small way, we made a difference in someone's life.  And then the next day, we were the ones who got a parking ticket.

We all are capable of implementing some form of this, whether it's big or small. An 11 year old proved that.

"What wisdom can you find greater than kindness" ~Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Yep, This is clearly my marriage

Awhile ago I read a post  11 Sad-But-True Married People Texts I've Sent My Husband   by Susannah Lewis and I actually laughed out loud.

Post found at:

http://www.yourtango.com/2014239933/lol-11-sad-but-true-married-people-texts-ive-sent-my-husband 

In today's age of everything tech, it's not that hard to go back and view old messages, and it's even easier when you know a tech guru who knows how to access lost ones.  There are apps for everything.

These days, texting is the norm instead of a phone call.  I can't tell you the last time I personally talked with my girlfriends in a voice conversation outside of when we've been together. It's really quite sad when you think about it.  My husband hates texting. He thinks it's impersonal unless of course he's in a meeting and can't answer the phone.  And although he thinks texting is overrated we've had some comical exchanges with finger-talking and reading through Susannah's list, well, it was like reading ours. I've even initiated the side-by-side text with him which evoked a less than harmonious response. 

Yes, I have had with my husband, like most wives I'm sure, every single one of the text messages she lists in her post....and I sit amused as I read through my husband's and my exchange of words through texting.

If Only It Was This Easy All The Time

I was baking Christmas cookies when Kenna walked in from school. The baby was in his highchair snacking on cheerios, at least when his hands weren't up to his ears when I'd belt out a Christmas tune. He'd giggle when I'd lean down and nuzzle his neck every time he'd raise his arms and cup his ears to block out my holiday melody. So young and already a critic, runs in the family.

The smell of vanilla filled the air, most likely due to me dropping the open bottle and it splattering everywhere. I love cooking but absolutely dislike baking. It's always so messy and there's always so many utensils needed.  When I cook I never measure anything, that's how I remember my daddy doing it. He went by taste and smell and watching him cook was always so exciting for me, but with baking, measuring is a must and it's more of a pain to me than anything.

 As Kenna walked by the island on her way to greet the baby her hand slid over to the cooling rack where a batch of Italian chocolate cookies sat. As she grabbed a fistful I sternly recited her full name, first, middle two names and her last. Yes, it's a mouthful but don't all mothers do that when their impish tykes do something they shouldn't? Tyke? She's certainly not a small child any longer!  She immediately dropped her cookie loot and turned to me with a sheepish grin. I tried not to smile which didn't work and told her to take them after she went in to wash her hands. As she passed by me she leaned in and kissed me, and with a perplexed look but inquisitive tone she asked if she could talk to me about something. I paused for a split moment thinking, OH DEAR. My immediate thought after hearing her request I have to admit, was less than enthusiastic thinking something horrible happened in school.  I replied, "Of course" and as she continued on to the bathroom her words were "I have a dilemma and need some advice. but we'll do it later after Cruz goes home". 

Kenna has always been very open with me. She's a parent's dream child. she's considerate, compassionate, and empathetic. She's not afraid to ask nor is she hesitant to tell me things, two things I have always had difficulty doing. She minds without argument even when she doesn't want to do what she has been asked to do.  Even when she has done something wrong her conscience weighs heavily and the strain of it overwhelming for her and she admits to her wrongdoing. I have had some great giggles over silly little things she has admitted to. Just yesterday she came clean to snooping through the pile of Christmas gifts that sit prestigiously under the tree.

Later, after Cruz left, the two of us while decorating the sugar cookies we made the day before, she divulged her problem to me. Our talk began with a question from her - " Mom, when did you start dating?" Dating? What is dating to an 11 year old? I had dated 4 guys and only two of them in the true sense of the word.  

Mark S. my first. That was a long-distance relationship, he would hitchhike 5 hours to New York to come see me from his home in Pennsylvania on the weekends and stay with his aunt while here. He was a sweet guy when he wasn't drinking. After a few years of hiding the bruises I finally had had enough.

Then there was John S., the only one my own age and he broke my heart, breaking up with me because I refused to give up my virginity.

Steve P. was more than a few years older than me. I started dating him when I was in high school. He was a Medical Technician by day and a musician by night. He was very patient but his dream was to move to California, and he did. And then my husband, the perfect gentleman and he still is to this day.

She commenced to tell me there's a boy who likes her and on good authority (her words) he was going to ask her to be his girlfriend. Kenna, being the way she is finds humor in just about everything. She then commented, " I'm a girl and we're already friends, what more does he want?!" She continued saying this boy use to "date" a girl she now hangs out with and although she likes this boy, a lot, and they are already friends, she didn't know if she should say yes because she didn't want to hurt the girl's feelings nor ruin the friendship she and this boy already had. An hour later,  after some deep conversation about boys she ended with a statement and a very insightful one at that - " I'm only in 6th grade, I don't even know what love is yet!" I hope the next six years are just as easy.

In Search of Answers

My daughter Kenna had another one of her "spells".  It's been a month since her doctor's visit and we still don't know why these sudden bouts happen, one of my fears at the moment besides a diagnosis of something grim is her having one of these episodes when I'm not around and can't get to her. She did have one awhile ago when she was with her aunt, it wasn't as bad as previous ones and they were close enough to where my sister could get her to me.
It's been a struggle for me sending her off to school knowing she's up and down stairs all day and, God forbid she have one of these episodes while manipulating one of the staircases or maneuvering through the busy hallways, it alarms me to think what could happen. I know, I'm thinking and worrying too much - like I haven't heard that before. - I'm a mother, that's what I do.

Her last one was a doozy not to mention quite frightening because it happened while she showered. When she passed out she hit her head on the tile wall  just missing the faucet when she fell, and she fell hard.  It's amazing how much your mind can wonder and imagine the worse thing possible as you run to their aid.  We found her on the shower floor unconscious and when she came to, as I held her in my arms, she looked up at me and commented, "At least I was done with my shower".  Always the optimist.

Our Children - Our Hope

"While we try to teach our children all about life, Our children teach us what life is all about."  ~Angela Schmidt

Being a parent of four incredible children I've often, over the years, reflected upon my advice and choices I've given and made concerning them, everything from the common mundane activities of daily adolescent life to the unwieldily, monumental difficult decisions as a parent both my husband and I have had to make.  My children are the most important thing in my life and throughout the years I've learned a great deal from each one of them. These once wee ones otherwise known as my offspring have taught me what life truly is.  From the very first moment they were placed and I felt them in my arms my life became more than what it already was; my existence became more clearer and held a deeper meaning. I would not be making decisions solely for myself anymore but likewise for these tiny bundles of joy I was blessed to have been given, at least until they became old enough to make their own adult assessments.

And with all these choices I've had to make on their behalf, some right and some wrong, my children, all unique in their own perfect way, trusted in me, trusted I knew best. They have enriched my life and each one of them has taught me life lessons I carry with me. I have learned deeper compassion and passion,  to have patience, developed a fierce determination, and enforce a understanding of tolerance for those who may be ignorant to unseen difficulties.  They have taught me self-awareness along with many other attributes.  There has been many times throughout the years I have been the student, taking in and learning a tremendous amount of knowledge not to mention invaluable lessons from each and every one of them. Having an Aspie child I have learned to never give up hope; hope sometimes is all we have to hold on to.
 

My eleven year old daughter, who I came close to losing before she even made an appearance into this world, even back then, while I carried her within me taught me there's a reason for everything. She has been having some issues lately that have caused some concerns. 

She loses her sense of balance along with her vision and then loses consciousness.

Her episodes have been scary to say the least.  And so, along with prayer we carry with us hope because "There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow." ~ Orison Swett Marden
 

Summer 2014-Redo, Tribunal and Wayfaring

Another Labor Day has come to pass, which signifies ( unofficially ) another summer's end and another school year's beginning, and now, Autumn has arrived. We've had a full summer season crammed packed with activities and Kenna is still loving her new bedroom.

Back in June, before school was out, when Kenna's whole 5th grade went on their (CCE) annual end of the year camping trip to Lake Seneca, and yes, I was just as, if not more, nervous sending her as I was when her older brother went 14 years ago, I redecorated her bedroom. Taking it from the young child-like fairy theme to a more grown-up one, a conversation her and I had discussed many times during the past year. When she arrived home and opened her bedroom door she was extremely surprised to find her fairies had all flown south. And I even did it on a fixed budget I gave myself which made hubby very happy.

   

   

   

  Of course I only had three days to try and get it done which involved not only stripping the appliqué fairies from the walls, removing the wall length shelving from two of those walls then painting over the stenciled picket fence adorned with stenciled rose offshoots her sister,had helped paint with me, along with the calligraphic lyrics of "Eeyore's Lullaby" I painstakingly wrote out that wrapped around the whole room and the hand-painted glow-in-the-dark dragonflies. Those were the easy tasks, it was the shopping I dreaded the most.  

Thank goodness, with the help of her father, it was almost completed by the time I had to pick her up. Of course I did have to cut a few corners and settle (at least for that moment) on the furniture. As much as I looked, staying on that strict budget I gave myself, I could not find a canopy bed nor tall dresser I was happy with or could afford, so I compromised with the canopy look and painted the ugly dresser she had and attached new drawer knobs. When I removed the shelving that I had put up better than eleven-years earlier I found the "secret" message I had scribbled on the wall to her while she still rested safely in my belly. The lead marks from the pencil still easily visible and as clear as it was the day I wrote it. Time really does fly by.

We made an appearance in Supreme Court this past July and I am happy to say we won our case.  The lawyers were somewhat taken aback with our notes and interaction during the proceedings as the trial was conducted, us catching discrepancies from the prosecuting side and making our findings known to the attorneys.  It ended up not mattering because the jury, thank GOD, saw right through the plaintiff's testimony, revealing cracks she tried to cover up and downright lied about. We have always taught our children to tell the truth, no matter what, even if that truth is detrimental in its effect and causes a less than pleasant outcome. Believe me, I certainly know something about that. And I couldn't have been prouder than I was the day my son took the stand and told the truth admitting to his part in an unfortunate happening that another (whom we'll call "a Lilith") tried cashing in on.  Good does, most of the time, overcome evil and when it doesn't, you wait patiently for the karma to kick in, and eventually, it will and does.

Happy Tree

Kenna and I accompanied her father on his business trip to Delaware. We couldn't have picked a more beautiful week in August to travel with him.  We embarked on our roadtrip the weekend before his scheduled appointments giving us enough time to stop for the day in Gettysburg, Pa. I would love to go back to this historic place and spend more time there.

The first half of our Delaware trip landed us south of Dover, it's capital.  

Kenna and I spent most of our days on the beaches of Rehoboth, Dewey and Ocean City and although I am not a water person, it was fun to watch her make sand castles and frolic in the ocean. Our evenings were spent sightseeing with her father after he'd finish his full day of appointments.

 

We drove down to Maryland's Assateague Island National Seashore and sat on the beach and watched the surfers ride the waves while wild horses roam freely amongst the visitors. What an awe inspiring sight. 

 Later in the week we took the Cape May Ferry in Lewes, Delaware and traveled over to New Jersey. Kenna launched her "message in a bottle" before we arrived on the shores of Jersey.

After spending a good part of the day at the Cape May Lighthouse we headed to Salem, New Jersey taking in all of its history.  Our last stop before heading home was back in Delaware in Wilmington for one last appointment.  There, Kenna and I visited Bellevue State Park in search of a letterbox (with no luck I may add) after a visit to Brandywine Park and zoo.