Our yearly trip south is never long enough, at least the part where it's spending time with my son and grandson. This year, with the upcoming arrival of my son's second child, due March 11th, we decided to make the trip down earlier in the year rather than wait until August like we have always done in past years. I originally was going to go down alone because my son had asked if I could come help him out, taking care of things around the house and with his 3 year old. I dreaded the thought of going down alone but I took his request as a silent cry for relief and to get a break from the nonstop stressors and madness he deals with on a daily basis; I don't know how he does it, working full-time, running a household pretty much alone, furthering his education and taking care of his son with very little help from his girlfriend or her parents and what little help he does get, it's usually his girlfriend's father watching our grandson when my son goes to work or school, but that too has declined drastically due to health issues my son's girlfriend's father is now dealing with.
I have always believed adult children will eventually find mates similar to their parent and this is very true in the case of my daughter. My son-in-law is eerily identical to my husband when it comes to personality, temperament and character, it's like looking at a younger clone version of my husband and I've often thanked God she found him but, my son's girlfriend, there is no way in hell I have ever been as indolent as she is and there is a lot of tension between the two of us because of it.
I have always believed adult children will eventually find mates similar to their parent and this is very true in the case of my daughter. My son-in-law is eerily identical to my husband when it comes to personality, temperament and character, it's like looking at a younger clone version of my husband and I've often thanked God she found him but, my son's girlfriend, there is no way in hell I have ever been as indolent as she is and there is a lot of tension between the two of us because of it.
I suppose her disdain toward me is warranted same as mine is for her, only difference is, our antipathy toward each other is for different reasons and I have always had a very hard time hiding behind a false facade, my feelings are not easily hidden. Once I get to know someone and see their true character, if I don't like it I try to avoid the person because even when I try to fake it, it's distinctly transparent. It's comparable to holding down a job you've become miserable in. You enter into it with high expectations, find little things that annoy you or find intolerable, you try working through the irritations weighing the pros and cons but eventually, if things don't change, you end up not doing your best work or giving it your all, same as in relationships.
When we left for South Carolina we knew there was a good chance we'd be there for the birth of our (third) grandson. Although her due date wasn't until March she had already started showing signs of early labor. We arrived at our extended stay hotel too late Saturday the 14th to make the trip over to the house so we waited until Sunday morning to make an appearance. My son was working Saturday night anyway and his girlfriend, well, this would be the first we'd be seeing her since our clash of personalities that took place last time they all were up north. But now that she was blessing us with another grandchild, and for my son's sake I needed to shelf my animosity toward her and hope she wouldn't cause further contention within the family as she has so many times before.
After we arrived at the house and shortly after the boys left to run errands she went into labor, and two hours later we were blessed with our third grandson. Kingston made his appearance without complication Sunday the 15th of February and he is absolutely beautiful.
Bugsy (as I affectionately call him) spent the week with us at the hotel and although it's only once a year we get to see him, he was very comfortable staying with us and was a typical 3 year old, spending a great deal of the time jumping on the beds, dancing on the window sill and running around through the rooms. I laughed pretty much the whole time. He is getting so big and I often find myself saddened I don't have the same relationship as I do with my daughter's son, Bean (a nickname I dubbed my second grandson).
Whenever we stay at a hotel I write out a backwards message on the bathroom mirror. Yes, call me juvenile, believe me when I say I've been called worse. One morning after hubby took Bugsy to his therapy class I finished my shower and stepped out to see another message written out below the one I had written. My mischievous side was reciprocated and I am almost certain not by an imprisoned entity behind the mirror. Apparently my impishness has rubbed off on my daughter.
One of our day trips took us to Old Town Bluffton not far from my son's home and actually a short hike on a beautiful day. We opted to drive though because although we left behind mounds of snow up north it was a tad bit chilly in the low-country this trip and we never know how long we'll stroll through town.
We never miss a visit there when we go down although I'm positive my husband wished we would. I never seem to leave without purchasing a few small items or browsing through my favorite quaint little bookstore. We visited, what will be a new favorite haunt, Lawton Stables located on Hilton Head Island and not far from my son's place of employment. Bug's enjoyed clucking with the chickens and was in awe with a Clydesdale horse who goes by the name of Harley. And although we didn't get a chance to get to Savannah, Ga. this trip like I wanted to to stroll the historic district ( Mikenna and I like to admire and take photos of the old architectural buildings) we did go sightseeing on Hilton Head and I've picked out our new vacation home. Now if only we could win big in the lottery.
Our trip back home emerged into a perilous journey to say the least. Our travels through West Virginia alone was a daunting 8 and 1/2 hours which normally takes better than half that time. Besides the Semi that fishtailed and ended up with its trailer turned completely around (pictured here) there were numerous vehicles in ditches and the majority of them were plows attempting the process of removing snow. Go figure! We even witnessed a salt truck flip over, not entirely due to icy roads but in part to its load shifting as it maneuvered a turn.
The one good thing about making the trip in a car versus flying, which I'd prefer, is looking for the Coffindaffer crosses that adorn the interstate highways. West Virginia has more sets of crosses planted than any other state, their number ranging in the hundreds. Sadly though the weather wouldn't cooperate and made it difficult to spot these magnificent spiritual symbols. We did although spot a couple enormous single crosses planted in the fields of Pennsylvania.
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~The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naïve forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget. ~Thomas Szasz
You forgive those simple because you still want them in your life, it doesn't mean you forget the hurt.
Originally posted 3/17/15 @ 12:41 am (3)
